• A formal black tuxedo with brown shoes.

• A baseball cap to a formal wedding. Its a good bet the only woman he'll ever be with is one who accepts a credit card.

• A man who wears women's clothing when he picks his kids up from school. dressed as a woman.

• Any idiot who has an " I Love New York" bumper sticker on their California registered vehicle during the rush hour on the 405 in L A. You might want to give them a one way ticket to the Bronx while your at it.

• Any O. J. Simpson memorabilia of any kind.

• Anyone who wears a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals T-shirt to a Leukemia survivors picnic.

• Any member of the Oakland Raiders Football Team.

• Any civilian who wears military fatigues to CHURCH!

• Wearing a polyester leisure suit, vinyl pants or the blowup device for an inflatable date.

• A T' shirt that says something vulgar about one of their body parts. You may nominate them for two Golden Ass Awards if it says something vulgar about one of your body parts!

• An Oakland Raiders jersey.  Enough said.

• A short tank top when they are fifty pounds over weight, have a really ugly belly button, stretch marks that resemble a topographical map of the Grand Canyon or a navel ring in the shape of the state of New Jersey.

• A shirt advertising their family's appearance on the Jerry Springer show that reads; "I found my bride at our family reunion".

• A World Wrestling Federation shirt with the phrase " professional wrestling is REAL!......Isn't it?" 

• Any garment that declares "ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO!"

• Enough gold chain jewelry to qualify as a Mr. T starter kit.

• A pith helmet, Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts while on vacation anywhere north of the 54th parallel.

• The fur of any animal while the animal is still in it.

• A " I love Fidel" shirt in downtown Miami. On second thought you probably would have to send the award to his next of kin.

• Public sneezers, coughers, nose pickers or people who spit in flower boxes in a 5 star hotel.. 

• People who park in handicapped spaces without a permit.

• People who park so poorly that they take up two parking spots.

• That jerk at work who fails to say hello or even acknowledge your existence.

• Teachers, professors and other instructors who think you need to kiss their backsides.

• The guy at work or school who thinks personal hygiene means taking a shower when it rains.

• Any former roommate who "forgets" to pay you back the money you loaned them.

• The former roommate who conveniently did not help clean the place up and then wants his or her part of the deposit back!!!!!

• Sunshine

• Buster

• Bubba

• Any "Initials"

• Happy

• Bill Clinton

• Big Butt

• Butch

• Driving under the influence of any substance including basic stupid sauce.

• Opening the door of an airplane in flight.

• Sits next to you on the airplane, bus or train and takes off their shoes and socks.

• Steals the cab you have called.

• Takes his full cart of groceries to the express line.

• A person who buys $5.00 worth of groceries and uses 30 coupons to do it!

• A person who stands in line for 10 minutes at a fast food restaurant and waits till they step up to the counter to LOOK AT THE Damn  MENU!

• Any OIL COMPANY!..